My worry is that for all this surface progress, we still have so much farther to go before the law and the courts catch up. No federal laws protecting LGBTQ people from discrimination in employment. No federal laws protecting LGBT people from discrimination in housing. No federal laws protecting LGBTQ people from access to public amenities. Yet this perception of equality persists. It’s like, “Look, we gave you people marriage. And YouTube turned its logo rainbow. You’re good now, right?”

I just have a beef with the precarious place we find ourselves as queer people. We are suddenly seen as more accepted than we really are. And while it’s always good to be thought of nicely, it would be even better if we were equal.

Thank you Dorothy

Tracking job applications for metrics

In a past iteration of tracking job applications, I kept an uber long note in Simplenote, with simple information like:

  1. Job title
  2. Company
  3. Link to job posting
  4. Date of application

In this iteration of applications, I decided something had to change and decided to spreadsheet the applications. Since the Internetz has probably done it, I decided to not start afresh.

Zen Ren, from Zapier, really knocked it out of the park with this fantastic article.

The biggest thing I changed this time was realizing that, much like a real job, I had to track my work and pin down what was efficient for me and what wasn’t, and keep re-adjusting my strategy. Reading a hundred guides on how to write a standout resume or kill it at an interview wasn’t going to help me if my application strategy was all wrong.

By focusing on the tactics I was using and tracking numbers, I could quickly fine-tune what was working and cut out tasks that were wasting time with no results.

As for me, I had a lot of soft skills across diverse industries, which can be tough. Because of this, I had three resumes that I had tailored for the three different kinds of jobs I was applying to: Sales Management, Business Operations Analyst, and Tier 1 Support.

Amen. I too was applying to different types of roles that suited different resumes, and yet it was getting really time consuming to tailor my resume to every single role.

Hope this helps someone and good luck to you too!

Not an animal person

My family never had a pet. Not counting the koi that we were gifted that quickly met their demise via the neighbourhood cat and an overflowing pond.

On the other hand, the Other Half always had many pet cats in his life.

I was uncomfortable with animals. Petting them on the heads or backs was fine. No belly rubs, scratches under chin and if the animal so as much playfully swiped at me, I was outta there.

In stark contrast, the Other Half would be merrily attempting to pet and carry every stray cat we saw.

When we got our own place, he hopefully mentioned that perhaps we could have pet cats in the future. I declined vehemently, saying that I didn’t think I would ever be ready for a pet.

For about a year plus after that, I got to know Flapper Choo and his brothers and sisters. Almost weekly, I met and played (swam) with Flapper and Frodo, both huge dogs weighing slightly over 30kg.

Due to their size and weight, they easily came up past my waist and could just as easily knock me down. What really helped to ease my discomfort was how well they had been trained. They were so well-behaved, quiet and listened to instructions.

Flapper was also an exceptionally clever dog which greatly impressed me.

Meeting them regularly helped me to understand their different personalities and quirks, endearing me to them.

However, that was insufficient for me agreeing to have a pet.

One day, Flapper’s and Frodo’s owner sent the Other Half a picture of a rescued cat.

She felt that the cat’s temperament would suit me, a first time pet owner.

We went to visit the cat and upon seeing the Other Half, he trotted over and plonked himself right into the Other Half’s lap. I smiled and patted the Other Half’s head, announcing that both boys were very happy.

It took us awhile before finally agreeing to adopt the cat, renamed, Tyrael1.

Footnotes

1. We used to play Diablo

Art: Surrealism

by Rui Qing

Photo was taken outdoors but edited to make it seem like it was taken indoors behind a window.

A bright cheery sunflower garden morphed into somewhat like a surrealist painting.

Tools:

  • Enlighets (iOS)
  • Prisma (iOS)
  • Tayasui Sketches (Mac OS)

Location: Sunflower Garden at Changi Airport Terminal 2 Transit, Singapore

3 Simple (NOT) Things to Remember in a Relationship

Being in a relationship for 12 years and counting didn’t seem big deal to me.

What led me to write this post was because friends, acquaintances and strangers started mentioning that we were such a sweet, strong and #couplegoals, type of couple.

Even a Grab driver started chatting with us and commented that we seemed to be on our honeymoon. At that time, we were 11 years together.

No expert, but I’ve been asked for relationship advice (Sidenote: /facepalm). Over the years, the advice has became simpler.

1. Commitment

Believing in the relationship and saying yes to it everyday, not just the wedding day. Saying yes, when the other party says no; saying yes, through all difficulties. That commitment will help both parties be open to the next points.

2. Communication

Such a cliche, but so true. Communicate as much as possible. We almost overshare. It has helped us to build processes, structures and trust with each other. From shared calendars (dutifully updated) to finances, goals, especially unhappiness with each other.

3. Acceptance

This has definitely been a struggle for me, maybe not so much that Other Half, due to our different personalities. When I catch myself saying or thinking “can’t you do xxx”, I try to take a step back and appreciate the other things that he does. Definitely a work in progress!

We work at this relationship every single day. We’re almost exact opposites, so disagreements are a given.

With practice, it gets easier, and what you see is the fruits of that labour!

PS: Lessons from our personal relationship has helped me to translate to making friend and work relationships work.